~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

28 October, 2009

It Shines For You - by Susie Hemingway.

Silver shimmering crest of light
that shines and glistens on special nights
but only seen by those who love,
for those who notice this moon above
fluorescing glow of softest light
that shines on waves in rolling flight,
this secret candescent light that holds
a special place in lover's souls,
when the flotsam of life is tearing at you
lift your head and see this view.

When life's foreboding ways do seek
to sometimes knock you off your feet
take your dreams and shake them loose
never stumble for you will see
this shining luminosity of moonlight free,
for on these magic nights of love
that glow for lovers from above
especially for those entwined souls
for secrets between them never told

tilt your head to gaze above
to see this gemlike moon of love...

Photo courtesy of Sally Leeves
All rights reserved @ SusieHemingway 2009

18 October, 2009

"I Carry Thee" - by Susie Hemingway.

I carry thee like the heavy rain drenched leaves cover the precious plants
I carry thee like the mother with soft-fleshed babe in arms
I carry thee on heavy days, when limbs are tired but heart is willing
I carry thee.
I think for you on difficult days when drug filled mind is fuddled and quiet
I think ahead for you with heavy heart filled with anxious thoughts of decisions that must be made
I think of you when struggles to move are hard and bones make creaks and eyes are dulled
I think of you.
I watch for you, I listen to your breathing, when night has fallen and stillness comes
I watch for you with hope you never stumble or fall
I watch for you to make that kiss you love, entirely right at night
I watch for you.
I dream for you that days will pass pain free and be filled with God’s blessings
I dream for you when watching Autumn leaves fall as trees again show their tangled limbs.
I dream for you that you will see the Summer sun, rise across the pastures green once more

I carry thee....

@ Copyright 2009

Photo Courtesy of Janey Johnson Photos: All Rights Reserved

15 October, 2009

~ Secrets Of The Soul - by Susie Hemingway ~ *

In purple see the changing light
the stormy days to passive nights,
in secrets of the soul display
a campaign like tinders falls astray,
and yet, as seasons daily change
you adjust to fight on moving range.
In repetition all a part
this set-piece for you
that's learnt by heart.

I watch thee, I watch thee,
intrepid, fearless
and monumentally brave,
to eagerly face another day,
this gargantuan task,
in febrile waves you make,
the tiny steps you sweetly take.
This rape upon your ravished frame
comes back in haunting waves again,
this personal onslaught so powerfully dealt
in secrets of the soul displayed,
the campaign like tinders falls astray.

And yet in courage you edify
and make my heart to often cry...

*This Poem written in 2008 has been chosen this week, to be included in a new book of poetry called "Fact and Fantasy" by UK Poets, copies of which can be purchased from all good bookshops and also read through The British Library.

@Copyright 2008
All Rights reserved

09 October, 2009

Two Years Since Stem Cell Transplant

Two Years Since Stem Cell Transplant.

On the 8th of October it was the two year anniversary of Hamada’s Stem Cell Transplant. We once again thank Prof. N. Russell and his wonderful team at Nottingham’s "Centre of Clinical Haematology" for their expertise and for securing these past two years for Hamada. We continue with joy at each given day and try to make everyday as special as we possibly can. Although many testing times have occurred during these past two years with many health issues. Hamada has quietly and with great dignity, gently taken great enjoyment at each day with his family. He never ever complains and deals with this most difficult illness with great courage.
In celebration I post here Hamada’s favourite Poem, apart from mine! (I’m jesting of course)

From the Springtime of Love by Khalil Gibran.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving:
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Khalil Gibran 1883 – 1931

Photo by Susie . Rights Reserved - 2009.

03 October, 2009

This Sunset - by Susie Hemingway

Brilliant Sunset sinking fast
of pumpkin corals and scarlet reds,
slowly first, as watchful eyes
dream and melt in paradise.
We turn to stare at coloured sky
and watch graceful bird swooping by,
we listen to the palm trees sway
as sun kissed bodies feel close of day,
evening warmth on cooling skin
pleasures seem to merge within.

Sinking slowly, small cirrus streaks
enhance this beauty we love to seek.
Vermilion Ambers, Magenta hues
spectacular colours for me and you,
gentle sounds of ebbing waves
this rhythm and flow of life and days...
Why we seek this twilight sky?
this energy that makes us sigh,
that makes our shoulders rest this way
that always takes our stress away.

This colour of power, this colour of
might, this reason to live, this reason
to fight,
this Sunset watched with only you
delicious memories come into view.

With many thanks to Sandy Banks*
http://www.retiredforgood.blogspot.com/ for allowing me to use these very beautiful photos and for dedicating the lower rather special Sunset Photo to us both.* All rights reserved.

*Sandy said... Your poem prompted me to gift those precious moments as the sun slips down behind the mountain and sea - caught, but not stopped - to you and your beloved... I love your words that bring the essence of a season or a moment into very sharp focus. Thank you again....
All Rights Reserved@ October 2009

02 October, 2009

Update October 2009

As all tests were returned or done last week, we were seen very quickly at the Haematology in Lincoln Hospital yesterday. This appears to help save time for the Consultant with his study of blood results and checks of readings etc and although this involves two journeys, quite long ones for us. It is more preferable than the normal long waiting time for results to come through from the labs. Having found an improvement here, now for the big moan. The rather small car park for the disabled which is nearer the department, was completely full once again( that is sad in itself) After driving round for a while I had to concede, that the only place I could find, was miles away from the clinic we needed to attend. Struggling with the wheelchair in and out of the car is one thing. I am very physically fit but still it was most challenging for someone in their sixties to then push up the long hill leading to the Haematology department and certainly impossible for someone a little less stronger than I! It often appears strange to me, that the clinic where people have the most needs, is the furthest away! Very bad planning indeed, I suppose I could have weaved my way through all the miles of hospital corridors and up lifts but even my legs get tired sometimes! No wonder so many frail or unfit people have to rely on transport to and from their appointments, costing a great deal more with escorts in and out, than it would cost to make more disabled parking spaces - ah! I feel much better now for that wee moan.

All readings were much the same - very little change on all counts, except the dreaded para-protein (M-spike) which continues to climb and now at 13.09. Still,the consultants considered opinion, is that as Hamada is continuing well with no more pain than is usual for him and his Kidneys are holding well, that with all things considered, he should still not start Velcade yet and enjoy this respite, we are to return in December. The Doctor says to enjoy this good quality time and we intend to do just that!

Next week on the 8th of October it will be two years since Hamada's Stem Cell Transplant and we once again thank Prof N Russell and his wonderful team at Nottingham's "Centre of Clinical Haematology" for their expertise and for securing these past two years for Hamada. We continue with joy at each given day and try to make everyday as special as we possibly can.

*The above Photo was taken On September 26 2009

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