~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

26 April, 2009

Breath Of Life - My Partner - by Susie Hemingway

Fresh blood falls upon our streets
like dark red satin, smooth upon a bed
wild trees blow and hang their limbs
as pain strews all living things,
still within, as snug as partners curl
upon a furry rug in fire glow,
my mind tells me you're safe
my heart knows you are there
you are the sunlight in my arms...

My heart impaled transfixed in fear
when world rocks life so bitter and cruel
this struggle for peace so gently brave,
in quiet times as I survey the scene
and in frightening moments of terror
come fragrant as a summer rose
thoughts of you, to clear my mind,
you are the sunlight in my arms
you are my breath of life...

"How harsh, how tough, these long days
how precious your honourable soul,
how undemanding how much you care,
this ready smile of a brave man
and as you fight for strength, this daily task
your right of sovereignty is quietly protected,
this stillness comes, our land is covered,
lives are changed."

But, you are the sunlight in my arms
Still you are my partner,
Still my breath of life...

This poem is dedicated to the Men and Woman of EMS/ Fire Services, Providence, Rhode Island. USA. and to all Medical Personnel, Fire Fighters and Police Forces World-wide, who have partners and loved ones waiting for them at home.
See: http://rescuing-providence.blogspot.com/2009/03/poetic.html

3rd June 2009. Have heard from Paul Embery, Regional Offical,London Region FBU, that this poem has now been circulated to all members of the London Fire Brigade.

All Rights Reserved @ April 2009

24 April, 2009

Hamada Update - 24 April 2009

Some awaited tests came back yesterday for those who understand and like to follow Hamada's journey.
The Skeletal Scan clearly shows the L1, L2 and T8 collapse and now there is a small area showing in the pelvic area,which is to be expected but of course still very worrying.
The Bence Jones is holding at 0.03 but the Para Protein (M-Spike ) is up again, now at 8.4 but not at the speed of the past 3 Months.

The Bone Marrow returned at 5%. better than we had hoped for - was 80% at diagnosis in May 2006 - Stem Cell Transplant achieved to good partial remission in October 2007.
Still, there is to be no further treatment at the moment apart from the massive amounts of maintenance drugs daily, even though the M-Spike is rising...the consultants view is to watch and wait.
I would welcome any comments on these readings from those who understand. Thank you.

Our very best and heartfelt thoughts to all our friends and carers who read this blog, and are making with courage, the same journey as Hamada.

22 April, 2009

Through My Eyes - by Susie Hemingway

The music, distant, dusty but ours from years ago...

fills my mind and soul
my toes in shiny heels do tap,
my face in smiles my hands do clap,
and through my eyes, absorbed and clear
such beautiful faces, sitting here,
these sparkling eyes, this crowded room,
so young, peaceful, handsome, so alive...
just enjoying each other, just being together.
I hear their laughter I place my hand on his,
through my eyes I see them here
through my eyes I see it all...

All rights reserved @ 2009. - Written about the evening of the 18 April 2009

Indeed A Wonderful Weekend !

Hamada and I spent such a wonderful four days with younger son Jo in the beautiful Chilterns, Bucks. Jo and his beautiful Laura, entertained and looked after us so very well. It was such a delight to do nothing for the long weekend and so many thanks to Jenny and Ian who helped Hamada to make this journey with help travelling, and all the necessary carrying of extra 'bits and bobs' to make Hamada as comfy as could be. Hamada managed so well, but still having to sleep once again after breakfast, enabling him to join the fun in the evening. It was a super time, some good shopping and lots of laughter for me with the girls and wonderful party times in the evenings with superb dinners - Jo being a consummate chef - and not having to cook a single thing the whole weekend, thanks Laura, was an extra treat. It was really special to catch up with family and friends, to see Rich and James once again, they had grown up with Jo and had frequented our family home in earlier years and are now young men. Thank you Jo and Laura, I am sure you noticed the extra sparkle in Hamada's eyes X

11 April, 2009

Hamada Continues Well At Easter-Time

Photo: Easter Sunday Last Year ! - 2008.

Hamada is continuing well, and we plan to have a small Easter-time celebration at 'Orchard End' with a good Roast Dinner and some Chocolate Treats. Hamada is not well enough to join the wonderful Easter Breakfast which after watching the Sunrise at a local beauty spot, is celebrated together with friends at the Village Hall. Always a lovely occasion, especially last year with the sudden onset of snow!
This week we had a very comprehensive consultation at Nephrology at Lincoln, going over carefully all the drugs Hamada takes. Then a good discussion with the specialist Ms Little, her very considered view being, that Hamada's kidneys are just functioning enough without the need for Dialysis. Dialysis may just give him a little more energy but not enough for the dramatic change to Hamada's quality of life that would ensue, with this irreparable (for Hamada)procedure, the need also - if not done at home- for the four days per week, journey to Lincoln. This with all the other clinic visits, would be far too much for him to endure. So we are thankful that his kidneys are holding on. We believe this has been achieved with the very good amounts of water taken daily to flush through the proteins that prevent the kidneys from filtering waste products from the blood. When Hamada was diagnosed almost three years ago he had only 8% kidney function he now has 15%. We still await the results of the latest Bence Jones 24hr test, also the Bone Marrow Biopsy and the Skeletal Scan.

We wish our very good family, friends, at this special 'Spring Time' who with watchful eyes, continue to support us -how lucky we are to have you - and to all fellow Multiple Myeloma sufferers, a very "Happy Easter" or "Happy Spring Feast"

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