It is Not Love - If You Must Ask - by Susie Hemingway

What is love, I'm often asked
my answer is, it's not a task,
It's when you only have to glance,
to make your heart turn in a trance,
when eyes cannot turn away
and when you yearn from day to day,
your soul and mind in endless tune,
it is not love - if you must ask.

What is love, the girls do ask,
when you can trust another soul
with secrets you have never told,
when your mind and heart can blend as one
and when silence, a delight becomes.
When you know that you would walk,
a thousand miles, for eyes and soul,
and just one glance,
it is not love - if you must ask.

What is love, the boys do ask,
it's when you care more than yourself,
as in your busy days you'll find, and
when you try another kind!
your mind refuses, turning back
although you try another track,
your heart refuses, to let go,
don't ask me! for you will always know
it is not love - if you must ask.

It's when you find the strength that lies
in waiting for the sun to rise
across your soul and heart and mind
a love so pure, the only kind.
It's when in everyday, a joyous song
a heart that sings, in sweet refrain,
a closeness and a precious gem,
just wait for love, no other kind.

It is not love - if you must ask.


dedicated to my youngest son Yousef - October 30


@ Copyright 2007

It is now five weeks since Hamada had his 'stem cell transplant' and he is proceeding well. Yesterdays trip to Lincoln Hospital was a really good visit, with blood counts up nicely and kidney function so improved now at 15 and with the news that next Wednesday they are to remove Hamada's central line (Hickman) which will be done at Lincoln, one less thing to worry about regarding infection. He is also starting a 24hr 'Bence Jones test' next Tuesday to test again, the levels of Bence Jones protein in the urine. This will give an indication of how well the transplant has gone. The Doctor seem very pleased with progress so far, reminding us again for the need to be careful about avoiding any infections , Hamada is still wearing a protective mask when entering the Hospital and thoughout each clinic- the single most important piece of advice, hospitals being most dangerous for picking up infections from not only patients but visitors also.

Hamada is still extremely weak and very weary always but he is slowly increasing his food intake and managing to say awake for a little longer each day now.

The above photo shows Hamada trying on his new 'fedora' which was brought by our son Jo in readiness for the spring and the walks we shall have together - 'In Sha'allah'

Update at 3 November 2007

Hamada is continuing well. His first check-up was carried out at Lincoln Hospital last thursday, where he continues to have his 'bard' line flushed, if he continues well, this will be removed in due course. Then he had bloods taken and although not brilliant, the stem cells do now have a reading of 0.9, which is going in the right direction.

Hamada remains happy and glad to be home, he is extremely weary and has bouts of nausea which slows down the weight gain, still he is now managing small frequent meals and I am pleased to see him eating a little of his favourites. He needs to build on his weight currently 55kg. he sleeps late in the mornings and when awake has been enjoying the view from our windows over looking beautiful farmland and this lovely late autumn sun. He is then glad to be back in bed during the early evening. When visiting the hospital Hamada were a protective face mask for the whole time he was there (a small tip for our friends in the same position). We felt this to be so important to protect him from any infections as he is so vulnerable during this recovery period.

He asks me to thank you all, for the great messages and calls, emails and letters, for all the best wishes and encouragement from everyone following his journey.