~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

26 October, 2007


GREAT NEWS!! After getting back the daily readings, if was decide late afternoon that Hamada, after seventeen days in The Centre For Clinical Haematology, could return home. we made the journey to Nottingham - late yesterday.

Late afternoon he had another red-blood cell transfusion and after leaving most of his hair there! we took him home.

Thanks to Prof. N Russell and his team, what amazing work they do. Thanks also to all the staff on Fletcher ward for their kindness and immense help during this time.

Hamada will now be closely monitored, he still has some sickness and will have frequent check-ups at Lincoln. Now we pray this will give him the longest remission. Thank you all for your wonderful good wishes and support, how lovely to have him home.

25 October, 2007


Hamada continues quite well. Count now at 0.3, it did go back to 0.1 it's normal for it to go up and down for a bit to start with. We hope for a higher reading later today. He has received more platelets to prevent anemia and is a little sick this morning but the drugs get that under control really quickly. His lovely grey hair is falling fast now, so I have a nice selection of hats ready to keep his head warm. He has done amazingly well so far. When the count reaches 0.5 we hope Hamada will be allowed home.

22 October, 2007


The best news today Sunday 21 October 2007 - we have been told today that Hamada has a count of 0.2 which is such good news. He has received some platelets, and is very tired, sleeping a lot, which is quite normal at this stage but he is bright and cheerful when awake. We understand that he may be able to come home when the count reaches 0.5 but of course he will require frequent check-ups during the early post transplant period. All his harvested stem-cells were use in this transplant, so now we hope and pray Hamada will be successful with a long remission. I know it's early days but I so wanted to share this news with you all.

17 October, 2007

A Teardrop From Your Eye - by Susie Hemingway

I saw the teardrop from your eye
you turned your head, a little sigh,
you feel your pain, but seldom say
"yes it's been a difficult day"
the courage of this daily battle,
you're brave and steadfast, it's your way
never letting in the sadness that
begins at dawn and ends at sleep.
I saw the teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry.

The changes you accept so well
must be for you, a living hell,
to not be steady on your legs
to feel so sick, you need your bed.
You sit and drink the world right in
in quiet ways, you always sing,
you smile as if a secret brings
a gift of happiness within.
I saw that teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry.

Your quiet ways and inner peace
accepting all, not giving way
just hoping for another day.
To sit and be, in joyous calm
not asking for a magic charm,
if it were me, I'd scream and shout
your so determined, there's no doubt
such dignity, such pride, but
I saw that teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry.

When all about you rush and bother
you sit and watch and quietly be
your love for me so clear to see,
never once do you complain
I see your passion, it never wanes,
you watch and wait, but never say
"this has not been, the best of days"
your daily thanks and generous praise,
they always take my breath away.
I saw that teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry...

@ Copyright 2007

16 October, 2007

Update 16th

Hamada appears a little better today, the Doctor informed us that the blood tests show he had a mild form of septicemia, so now that the antibiotics are doing their work he feels better and is back with us again . Keep up the good work Habibi.

14 October, 2007

Update - 14 October 2007.

The past few days have not been very good for Hamada and we have been most worried. As the High-dose Chemotherapy finished and the next procedure started, (the infusion of stem cells) Hamada became distressed, very confused and disorientated. The Doctors believe it could be an infection starting and have place him on antibiotics. It has been a most difficult time for him and with a back sore from the bone marrow aspiration, which is to read the measurement of Myeloma and is performed again six weeks after completion, to see how successful this procedure has been, it has all been rather too much for him and his mind has been severely disturbed. He found it difficult to talk and comprehend, was agitated and not the normal placid Hamada we know. Yesterday he seemed somewhat better which was a relief. During these days after transplantation, the reinfused stem cells migrate to the bone marrow and begin the process of producing replacement blood cells. Now hopefully the stem-cells will start to produce these new blood cells, a process called engraftment, this should happen during the next 10 to 15 days. Until engraftment is complete Hamada remains susceptible to infection. A great team at Nottingham working hard for him - thank you all.

10 October, 2007

Update. - A Stem Cell Transplant - 10 October 2007

Hamada started his Stem Cell Transplant after a restful night at Nottingham City Hospital. The high-dose chemotherapy drug melphalan was started yesterday. Now just one days rest and his stem cells will be infused back into his bloodstream. He is rather sick today which is to be expected and has been given drugs to help with this. He has had some prior hydration to help and support those precious kidneys and the renal department is working with the transplant team.

Hamada is a little emotional today and the next few days will be most important for him and until engraftment is complete we must be so careful to avoid any infections and take precautions before entering his room. He really is in the best possible place and we are so pleased he has made it this far in his fight with this difficult disease. I will continue to update - I know that many Multiple Myeloma sufferers are following Hamada's journey. Best wishes to you all.

06 October, 2007

Thank You All.

Hamada wishes to thank you all for your support and many messages of good wishes for his forthcoming 'Stem Cell Transplant' procedure, starting on Monday. He sends his love to you all and says he is ready to do battle now! I will of course update on here for all our friends worldwide and for his family in Egypt. Good Luck Habibi.

The Spiders Web - by Susie Hemingway

As the spiders web draws you in
your eyes flicker becoming dim
I reach in terror to ease your pain,
but however I work, there is no gain.
the mist around your tired face
draws you gently to that place.
don't enter the web that pulls you close,
stop spinning spider, leave your prey.

We fight and fight this daily battle
and hate the spider and its chattel
who tries so hard to lure you,
so easy is that gossamer thread
that wants to take you from your bed,
floating in the calm warm air
let me brush your silver hair,
go back spider, let go your grip.

Go take your 'arachnid' ways,
and spin somewhere another day
go find a substitute not him
and leave this gentle quiet soul
go spin your large white wheels of lace
that ensnare and strangle in their wake,
go back and think again,
for this is one, you'll never win.

Stop spinning now, don't draw him in.
leave him quietly, to sleep at peace.
go find your other prey to squeeze
for I don't like your weaving ways
and this one has more sunny days.
You nasty creepy malignant beast
leave him be, go make your web
your threads that spin and crept within.

So easy is that gossamer thread...

All Rights Reserved
@ Copyright 2007

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