~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

31 May, 2007

My Boys - Written July 2006


They came to wait,
to listen and to care.
They left their work,
their routines, their lattes,
and their lives,
but still they came.

Just one call,
a Mother's need,
brought my boys, fast to me.
Nothing seemed as strong that day,
as those two boys,
who came my way.

I leaned towards them,
and broke my heart.
They stood tall and strong,
to share a Mother's grief.
And they came.

They took the calls,
they took my arm,
they drove the cars,
they helped my heart.
They are my boys,
and they came....
@ Copyright 2006

The Precious Drugs

We collected the G.C.S.F Injections from Lincoln Hospital today - the precious injections that Hamada will start again next Thursday - they stay in the fridge until then -these will hopefully enable the 'harvesting' to take place shortly at Nottingham City Hospital. This is now the third try! He has been for a further check-up and 'flushing' of the 'Hickman' line today. One more visit next week and he is ready to go again. The pain in his back is severe but he feels he does not want more radiotherapy before the stem cell collection.

Love Songs -Written in June 2006



When he wakes to different days
I play the songs of sweet refrains.

The gentle strains to open eyes,
the sweetness of the days gone by.

The songs of love, the songs of hope,
as eyes and minds adjust to cope.

To waken restfully, to come alive
songs of days to pass the time.

Sweet refrains, and songs of love
just to help, and just to love.

When he wakes to different days
I play the songs of sweet refrains.





@ Copyright 2006

30 May, 2007

A Day Of Pain - 30 May 2007


Not a good day today, Hamada has severe pain in his back-I am hoping it is not another fracture - He manages to get up in the mornings with support and such determination, it is painful to watch. Still we have managed a slow walk around our little town, enjoying the sunshine and the fresh air and then a ride down our country lanes -seeing a newly born 'Lincoln Red' calf - on our return to the village - Hamada is exhausted but pleased.

29 May, 2007

Should I Pray Now.

Should I be praying
is the time now ?
will you be listening
if I pray now.

Have I got Angels ?
quickly come now,
should I be praying
I'm sure the time's now,
would you be listening
if I pray now.

Where is my Gabriel
from angels above,
will you be listening
to help and to love.

If I open the door,
If I open my eyes ,
have I got an Angel
right by my side.

Should I be praying
is the time now,
would you be listening ?
If I pray now......





@ Copyright 2006

Sung by Jo @ http://www.myspace.com/jomoursimusic

Photo : Courtesy of Matt Rutherford.

I Will Live In This Village.



I will live in this village
with cornflowers blue,
I will love in this village,
a love that is true.
I will glean from each day,
no minute to waste,
I will live in this village
to quieten my haste.

I will love the large skies
with their dark twinkling hues,
I will smell sacred earth
with a love that is true.

But all I ask, is a slowness of pace,
I am seeking dear lord
to not let it race,
for the time is now
to enjoy what we can.

I will walk in this village
along green tiny lanes
only no one will see
the heart that is pained.

The tiny church,
strong in it's place
holding all memories
I came face to face.

The sorrows of many
who went before,
who lived in this village
with love just the same.

And like my sorrows
they lived in this place
they loved in this village
with cornflowers blue,

they loved in this village
a love that was true........

@ Copyright 2006
Photos : Courtesy - Matt Rutherford.

28 May, 2007

Can You Please Get Well.





Grandpa please, can you get well
please remember take your pills,
listen what the doctors say,
you must get stronger every day.


I love you so, I love the way,
you chat to me all the day,
for you are kind, you teach me lots,
and when you're fine you laugh a lot.


We practise chess, and shoot at goal,
I wish you'd stay until you're old,
sometimes you kick, and then you fall,
never minding, not at all.


Grandpa please can you get well,
you must you see, to catch my ball.
Grandpa please take all your pills,
cause who will feed the fish you see,
if you're no longer here with me.


Your twinkling eyes that laugh with me,
the fun we have at Grandma's teas!
Grandpa please can you get well,
please remember all your pills...


@ Copyright 2007

26 May, 2007

If You Feel You Cannot Stay.





If You Feel You Cannot Stay.






Darkest sky of leaden light

crescent moon in ageless flight,

Paris on a rainy day,

and if you feel you cannot stay

deep within my heart you'll be,

and I will see it all for thee.

Pretty ladies passing by,

clouds of white that seem to fly.

Trees of green, in early bloom,

these will take away my gloom.


Look and see, for if you do

house on hill, and friends for you,

deep blue seas, the 'honeycomb' man,

and if you really have to leave,

then I will see it, just for thee.

The lovely child who's soon a man,

I will guide him, if I can.

The music of those lovely years,

will drift with angels to your ears.

And if you really need to leave

then I will hear it, just for thee.


When your body is tired from trying

when your heart is slow to beat,

I will take you on a journey,

when we danced in summer heat.

Windows wide with sultry air,

scented perfumes in my hair.

You will hold me in your arms

and I'll remember, all your charms.

We will twirl in tango sway,

and if you feel you cannot stay.


And if you really want to leave,

then I will see it all for thee.

I will see the memories past

and if I really keep them true,

then I can do it all for you.

But if you really need to leave,

Then I will do it all for thee .
@ Copyright 2006




.

Cairo.


Oh Cairo of the sepia light,
empurple in the late of night,
the sparkling rays on marble stones,
the quickest steps and gleaming domes.
The narrow streets and alley-ways,
the different smells the different ways.
The hookah pipes, the mint tea trays ,
Oh Cairo and your faded ways.



The empyrean of mosaic mosques,
the many souks and little shops.
The hot and dusty lives we lived,
the little child with flower to give.
Street cafe where every day
we sat and watched,
in wondrous gaze.
Oh Cairo, I remember all those days.



The perfume shop, where we paid
to smell like Chloe, in a way!
The special time, with special friends,
we thought that it would never end.
Halcyon days spent with you,
enticing splendour of garnet hue.
Twinkling stars in darkest night,
Oh Cairo of the sepia light.



The dark robed men,
with beads and dice,
delicious honey with special spice,
the bright and silky lengths of cloth
tahina, lentils in a pot.
Can you recall this magic place ?
for I can see your handsome face.
Oh Cairo of the sepia light.



@ Copyright 2006


Top Photo - Courtesy: Matt Rutherford,

25 May, 2007

Sing Heart And Come Alive.




Sing heart and come alive,
close your eyes and clear your mind.
You can recall those desert sands
and when I take you by the hand,
atop the golden dunes we'll stand,
in heaven, in those mountains high,
sing heart and come alive.



Sing heart and come alive,
the alleys of the old Oman
in bustling fruit filled market place,
I clearly see your lovely face.
The dhows along the river nile,
it's splendid majesty of pace,
sing heart and come alive.


Sing heart, and come alive,
close your eyes and clear your mind,
the hanging fragrant jasmin blooms,
will take away your heavy gloom.
The beauty of your mothers face
the slowness of our daily pace,
sing heart and come alive.


Sing heart and come alive,
the frankincense in pots of gold
the alleys and the boys so bold,
the galaxy of sweetest cakes,
the air so warm upon your face.
Close your eyes and clear your mind,
sing heart and come alive...




@ Copyright 2006

23 May, 2007

Another Try


Today we have news of yet another try at 'harvesting' the stem cells for my husbands stem-cell transplant. This will be the third attempt. He has manged to mobilise only 1,200,000 stem cells, which is only about 50% of the amount that is needed for him to proceed. We continue to believe there will be a way he can stay with for us longer - wish us luck.

22 May, 2007

If You Should Leave Me


If you should leave me,
where would you go.
To the arab courtyard,
where once you held my hand.
The fountains flowed,
the coolness of the shade.
If you should leave me,
where would you go.

If you should leave me,
where would you go.
To those corn fields,
with sapphire skies.
Where hand in hand,
we walked and cried.
If you should leave me,
where would you go.

If you should leave me,
where would you go.
To empty beaches
where once we sat
on fine white sand,
under palms so tall.
If you should leave me
where would you go.

If you should leave me,
where would you go.
To hot dry lands
in tiny street, or
market place,
with 'tawlah' game in hand.
If you should leave me,
where would you go.

If you should leave me,
where would you go.
To Paris or to Rome
will you remember,
friends or me.
and most of all your home.
If you should leave me,
where will you go.

If you should leave me......

@ Copyright 2006

The Fight Goes On.


A year ago today, my beloved husband Hamada was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma *. He was told he would not survive longer than six months. Never accepting, we have been fighting for the whole year to push back the time he has with us. I have written these little poems to convey my feelings and to help me to understand why this has happen to this kind, gentle Egyptian man,who is still quite young. He never complains, perhaps if he did it would be easier to bear. Still we fight on with hope of a transplant- using his own stem-cells. He is becoming tired but still he smiles- that beautiful smile....

21 May, 2007

This Poem is sung on www.myspace.com/jomoursimusic

Lean Towards Me.


Lean towards me if you can,
For I am strong and tall.
I will hold you, not let you fall,
lean towards me.

You have a right like every tree,
to breathe and stand,
to fight when harsh winds blow.
You are that tree, and I am strong.
Lean towards me.

Hold your spirit strong,
like newly sown corn,
pushing through the difficult times,
for I will hold you, not let you fall.
Lean towards me.

You set your heart free
You let your spirit soar.
For you are brave, you are that corn,
And I am tall and I am strong.
Lean towards me.

Our fight is long
Like the river flows,
twists and turns with stones to cross,
but you are here, and life is now,
And I will hold you, I will not let you fall.

Lean towards me.....


Sung by Jo Moursi on http://www.myspace.com/jomoursimusic

@ Copyright 2006

You Elude Me .



Sleep how you elude me,
dreams furthest from my mind,
heart that cannot rest unknowing,
looking darkness, hard to find.

Dark thoughts that push all sleep away,
from pain that comes from daily strain.
Can I fulfill your every need,
Can I answer every plead.

Turning here,turning there,
wretched, tired with mind alive.
Settle, rest, no time to spare,
in sleeping, with all unclear.

Sleep how you elude me,
dreams furthest from my mind.

I walk the floor, the dark of night,
black the sky, with heart that fights,
quiet should produce a rest,
but sleep, how you elude me best.

Darks my lover, where are you?
Sleeps my Angel, far from me,
heart that cannot rest unknowing,
where's your wings to cover me.

Oh! beloved sleep, how you elude me best....


@ Copyright 2006

Clicky Web Analytics