This Fight Without Choice.

~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

24 July, 2009

This Fight Without Choice.

It was never a choice was it?
it sneaked in and through
along and around,
this nasty wicked 'beast' that coursed
along the channels of our lives
it tangled and tried to spoil,
bent, broke, quietened and flawed
it tried to rob, steal if you may,
inflict, damage and take away,
it encumbered, hampered, distressed
and sapped,
this dark encroacher that went too far.
Still, it did not spoil or mar
love twixt us two
this fight...without choice.

All Rights Reserved @ July 2009
*This poem is dedicated to all Multiple Myeloma Sufferers and their Carers.

12 comments:

Sandy said...: Oh Susie... the strength and power of your words wrenches my heart and at the same time makes it soar with joy that Love can overcome it all... thanks for your wonderful creativity!!!; 24 July 2009 at 17:08
Brother Ted said...: You touch our hearts in so many ways. You so wonderfully express the feelings that are faced by those who deal with MM.; 24 July 2009 at 20:22
La Cootina said...: Very moving. I'm reminded of a poem I posted; I wish I could have credited the author:
http://lacootina.blogspot.com/2008/11/what-cancer-cannot-do.html; 25 July 2009 at 01:25
Susie Hemingway said...: @ Sandy: Thank you dear Sandy for your continued appreciation for my poems. It is so kind of you to take the time to enter your comments here.

@ Brother Ted: Again a very generous comment from you, my poems come from my heart and are from watching closly the suffering, that can be caused by the debilitating disease of Multiple Myeloma. Thank you for your comment.; 25 July 2009 at 08:16
Susie Hemingway said...: @La Cootina Thank you for your comment, I am glad you found my poem "This Fight Without Choice" moving.; 25 July 2009 at 08:24
Lora Conrad said...: Well said, dear Susie. Such powerful words that mean so very much. I love the picture and instantly realized the “twist” that spun it in a different direction. Very clever of you. My love & respect always, Lora; 26 July 2009 at 11:20
Zena Jean Giessen said...: Love the poem and the picture.; 26 July 2009 at 11:21
Michael Morse said...: The fights most valiently fought are often those battles we don't deserve, instigate or expect.

You have chosen to fight with grace and dignity.

Thanks for the inspiration!; 27 July 2009 at 07:33
Linda - What Now UK said...: Submitted on Mon, 27/07/2009 06:50
I have just visited your site and I will be honest your words are so graceful and dignified I sat and cried. I will visit again when I feel stronger. Linda xx; 27 July 2009 at 17:26
Sunshine said...: So bittersweet, and our fight, too.
Thanks always for your posts, pictures, poems.; 9 August 2009 at 02:00
Jewel USA said...: Wonderful account. Don't know much about the illness but I know you can write up a storm! Keep it up and hang in there...It will change.
Love you,
Jewel

Posted by Jewel on Wednesday, August 26, 2009 - 11:35 PM; 27 August 2009 at 08:21
Judy Locke-Eekhof. Canada said...: As always my friend.....very touching and moving!!!!! I feel the words!!!!
luv ya!!; 28 August 2009 at 22:38

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BLOG REVIEWS

Lora Conrad : Susie -"Calm Are These Days" painted a breathtaking aura of colour and serenity that floated me above the clouds so I could envision it in slow motion - breathing in every word - it was magical! Especially for those of us who share Multiple Myeloma with Hamada, poetry gives us an escape from "over thinking" our situation. With a beautiful name like Susie Hemingway Moursi, it is no doubt poetry flows as freely as a river from your pen. Some things are just meant to be. Thank you for making our world a better place and creating a blog we can escape to in our own days of needs! You are a treasure. Much Love and & Respect Lora.

Excellent : Powerful sentiments and emotions expressed with skill, heart, and care.
Colin Brown.

Excellent: Beautiful Poetry.
Teresa K: http://www.purpleride.blogspot.com/

Selected as one of Lt. Michael Morse's five most favourite blogs see http://www.rescuing-providence.blogspot.com/

Karen Brook Westhaver: You blog is poignant, exquisite and simply amazing, your web-site is utterly delightful! I have no words to describe the beauty of your poetry as to try to do so would seem to take away from it's incredibly creative and beautifully woven words reflecting the inestimable power of love and fully living life connected with all your senses and feelings. This takes much courage.
http://www.joyfortheday.blogspot.com/

Comments on latest poem: "How Still"
Your words are subtle, yet sublime, and lift the psyche to a peaceful place where my faith in the good of humanity is restored...You ought to publish and let the world enjoy too.
Ken

Extract from the poem - Dreams of Montazah - by Susie Hemingway

An Extract from - CAIRO - by Susie Hemingway

Oh, Cairo of the sepia light
empurple in the late of night,
the sparkling rays on marble stones
the quickest steps and gleaming domes.
The narrow streets and alleyways,
the different smells, the different ways.
The hookah pipes, the mint tea trays,
Oh! Cairo and your faded ways

The dark robed men
with beads and dice
delicious honey with special spice,
the bright and silky lengths of cloths
tahina, lentils in a pot.
Can you recall this magic place?
for I can see your handsome face.
Oh! Cairo of the sepia light... Cont.

Extract from - A Teardrop From Your Eye - by Susie Hemingway

I saw the teardrop from your eye
you turned your head, a little sign,
you feel your pain, but seldom say
" yes, it's been a difficult day"
the courage of this daily battle,
you're brave and steadfast, it's your way
never letting in the sadness that
begins at dawn and ends at sleep.
I saw that teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry.

The changes you accept so well
must be for you, a living hell,
to not be steady on your legs
to feel so sick, you need your bed
you sit and drink the world right in
in quiet ways, you always sing,
you smile as if a secret brings
a gift of happiness within.
I saw the teardrop from your eye
it made me angry, it made me cry... Cont.

Susie Hemingway - A Power Within.

~ Poems of Love ~

24 July, 2009