~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

21 October, 2010

A Rush For Treatment

For a short time now Hamada has been having problems with his toe nails and I have insisted he show these to the nurse at MM clinic. She recommended good massage to what first looked like dry and flaky nails. This week Hamada woke during the night in much pain, when I looked at his feet I could see that most of the nails on one foot and some on the other foot were curling, very inflamed and one toe looked as if it was turning black in colour. This immediately alarmed me. I bathed his feet in quite hot water rubbed them with E45 and a little antiseptic cream and bandaged the infected one. The next morning I called and made an immediate appointment with our local GP. He has now given Hamada some antibiotics - suitable for someone with Kidney failure and some thick antibiotic cream to be applied twice a day. He mentioned something about being common with MM sufferers due to a low defence against these sort of infections. Someone also recommend tea-tree oil so I will apply some of that also, in between cream massages. I was surprised at how bad Hamada's feet have become and it does seem to have happened quickly. I should have noticed this and feel somewhat guilty that it managed to get to a bad painful toe. Oh well at least I hope we have caught it in time.

I feel like hiding, just like the bug above, in my rose photo!


Dianne West said...

Oh I sure do understand the guilt feelings that come when something new pops up that we think we should have noticed sooner. But you must not dwell on that, my friend. You brought it to the doc's attention as soon as you noticed it and that's all that you can possibly do. Hoping the antibiotic and cream will result in a quick healing and comfort for Hamada.

Noelle Dunn.... A Poet in Progress said...

You poor dear. Thinking of you and Hamada. You take such great care of him.

Susie Hemingway said...

@Dianne - It's just keeping-up with everything. Think you have a 'handle' on all the visits, appointments, drug giving, drug ordering and then you miss something that could have been another serious problem - as if we dont have enough already! Still all is calm once again, time now to re-group and re-coup some. Hope you are doing ok x

@Noelle. Thanks for your kind words, I do the very best I can for H but do get annoyed with myself when I miss something such as this. All very best wishes to you and hope you are well x

Roobeedoo said...

Fl's feet are very susceptible to infection - he doesn't feel them and can't bend down to them so doesn't know what is going on down there! But it is hard to remember to check toes except at night when there is inadequate lighting, so I too am guilty of neglect! Maybe you could have "pedicure sessions" together! Don't blame yourself you can't be perfect ALL the time!

Jean said...

You do so much, NO reason for guilt.
You are his constant angel.

Hugs to you both. ♥

Anonymous said...

Yes Susie - shame on you for not noticing! B would have noticed - well if my foot had fallen off and maybe only then if it meant I couldn't get his tea! ;D xx

tim's wife said...

The caregiver guilt thing is a hard one to deal with. I live in such fear that I am not doing enough or that I will miss something and there will be irreversible results. It's so scary. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the health care systems did not drop so many balls leaving us lay persons having to be interim doctors and nurses? It's really too much for us sometimes. All we can do is our best though. Our loved ones expect no more but it's a bloody scary thing to be an MM caregiver. It's impossible to catch every little thing. You're doing a heckuva job and I'm sure Hamada's toes will heal nicely.

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