~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

01 June, 2009

As Sure As - A Lament by Susie Hemingway.


As sure as the sun rises
in the East everyday
as sure as your smile
lights-up the room where you lay
as sure as this calamity
life robs in this way,
as sure as my anger
snags through this pain,
as sure as the worried looks,
painted on the faces of friends
I see, there will be no gain.

As sure as the rippling tide
ebbs again to flow,
as perpetual stride comes
in the darkness I know,
as soft light fading
to soothe for a while,
how pointless this shattered glass
I hold in my hand...
for as sure as faded petals fall
from the 'roses' on your face,
as sure as your dark eyes
keep looking for me,
I'll breathe and breathe again
so you will never see...

As sure as the gibberish words that I write
as sure as day, comes after night
as sure as this ache that grips at my heart.

As sure as....


All Rights Reserved @ June 2009

Photo: Courtesy of Matt Rutherford.

9 comments:

Karen Brook Westhaver said...

Tears for you and Hamada, Susie. And prayers for peace and serenity in the midst of this most hard time. You have well captured in your writings and your spirit that each moment is a gift and you both are a testimony of living that truth. I know how hard it is to watch as one you love hovers between *here* and *there*, yet you know deep in your bones that he will always be a part of you and that nothing can conquer the love you share together. NOTHING. This shall live on forever. May the "Whisper of Angels" and Angel wings lift you up and carry you through those moments when it's hard for you to rise. Know that the stronger "power within" and the love of family and friends (some of them -us- quite new) surround you both with gentleness yet strong arms of faith and hope.

Sandy said...

As I journeyed about the Puget Sound this weekend, Susie, part of my heart thoughts were for you and your beloved Hamada. As the wind blew past me heading easterly, I sent prayers off to you both, knowing that these days are so precious to each of you. Your lament shares with us the truth of impending separation, but as you must well know, love knows no boundaries... and like the words in the theme song from "Titanic," sung by Celine Dion, "it goes on and on."

Susie Hemingway said...

I am sorry if my poem indicated that Hamada's condition has suddenly worsened...this is not so..MM is such a difficult disease to 'stage' and he continues to be extremely weak, but as I chronicle my Poetry and this blog, in a continuous register, I must write as the 'now' dictates. These words are how I feel recently as I accept that he will never be 'better' He sleeps nearly all the time but is happy and contented when awake...we hope so much, that he will be well enough to join us at the weekend for a very special family occasion.( If he can stay awake for long enough) My sincere thanks for these wonderful comments, how nice to have such wonderfully caring people in this not always kind world. Bless you.

Michael Morse said...

I read your poem over and over looking for some hope, and there it was,

As Sure As...

Your words lead us into the very heart of grief and hope, and opens a window into a world most of us will eventually enter, on one end or the other, and gives us hope that we will endure it with equal grace and dignity.

Great stuff, Susie, I'm glad my own stories have been able to make you smile.

Susie Hemingway said...

It always amazes and pleases me, that you Michael understand where I go with my poems (thoughts written down)...perhaps it is the writer in you...which incidently you are such an expert at and I enjoying reading so much, do you ever think you may have chosen the wrong vocation? Perhaps it's the type of very difficult job you do, with the sadness you come across daily..that makes my poems easier to grasp. I am sure that, as you go about your day/nights you have plenty of "As Sure As" moments just as I did, the night I wrote this poem. Keep Safe and thanks.
As Sure As, there will be more....

Nick said...

Susie -

I want to thank you very much for dropping by my blog from time to time to offer words of support and encouragement. They mean a lot to me.

Your poetry is profoundly beautiful. I am not much of a "new age" type of guy, but I can feel in your words the beauty of your spirit and the kindness of your soul.

I keep you and Hamada in my prayers, and I wish you much love, happiness and health together.

God bless you.

Warmly,

Nick van Dyk

Lawana Wright said...

The Poetry tells it all lovely! Enjoyed reading them very much.
Lawana Wright

Celso Rosa said...

More life to you both.

Sarah Jane Lacey said...

You blogs and Poems are beautiful.

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