~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

14 September, 2009

I Missed You - by Susie Hemingway

I missed you, when the heated rhythm of Salsa
- that feels so like chillies when they touch
your tongue - drifted across the dance floor.
I missed you as this enticing music reached
my jewelled pinned ears.

Where were you? when the luscious sounds of
Sax blues, caught my needy toes
so carefully encased in high dancing shoes.
Where were those slim ‘sun touched’ hands that would
reach to twirl me to the dance floor.

Where was the graceful dancer, whose gentle persuasion
could spin me like a whirlpool, making me turn
and sway to the sounds of Latin beats and Bluesy tones.
Tell me, where were those magical eyes,
those sparkling rays of light, that always laughed with me.

Where was that smile, those breathy movements on the
dance floor, those feet that could glide and coax
the dancer from my soul…
How my heart wants to dance with you once more,
instead of standing alone when the music calls to me.

I watched the others spin and whirl but my arms were empty,
sadness for your charms that made me feel like sixteen again.
I was never a wallflower but she has found me now,
where were you… when the deliciously heated sound of Salsa
reached my ears… where were you?

@ Copyright 2009 Susie Hemingway.
Wallflower Photo: courtesy of Janey Johnson- All Rights Reserved

*This Poem Although Written About My Husband Hamada, Was Posted On The Day Patrick Swazey Died Of Pancreatic Cancer. Patrick was a wonderful dancer bringing much pleasure to many ladies who saw him in the enchanting film “Dirty Dancing” So I dedicate this poem to Patrick-may you continue to dance in Heaven- and to all lovers of dancing"


Anonymous said...

Hi Susie, this poem made me cry, honestly. I can so imagine what you felt and feel. This tiny portion of your life, your love of music and dancing, it breaks my heart. This poem to me says it all. Love always janey x

Walt Trachim said...

This poem - beautiful and haunting, both at the same time. And I think I understand what Janey is saying: you're giving the rest of us a glimpse into your soul.

But you do that with everything you write, Susie. It takes incredible courage for anyone to do that, and you share so much of yourself so often...

Sandy said...

Dear Susie - I love to dance also, and felt the awesome yearning you conveyed in this haunting poem... and curiously it also could be a poem about the dancer Patrick Swazey who died today of pancreatic cancer - made his first star as a dance instructor in the movie "Dirty Dancing" which, if you haven't seen it, is a lush love story with lots of lovely dance sequences. Thank you once again for sharing yourself.

Elizabeth @ The Garden Window said...

these poems are both beautiful and amazing.

Assuring you of my heartfelt prayers for your husband and for you.....

Susie Hemingway said...

@Janey, Thank you for your lovely comment Janey, and I am sorry I made you cry x

@Walt Thank you for your very lovely comment Walt. If I am to continue this journey, then I must write from my heart the feelings of this time. You may have see on my FB that there have been big celebrations in our village this weekend and much great music and dancing - these were my true feelings on returning home late - "I Missed Him"

@Sandy Thank you for understanding my poems so well, I had just posted "I Missed You" when I heard that Patrick Swazey had died after his short battle with Pancreatic Cancer and so it is fitting that I dedicate this poem to him and to all the ladies who love to dance and that enjoyed his film "Dirty Dancing" May he continue to dance in Heaven.

15 September 2009 11:26

Karen Brook Westhaver said...

How vivid with every sense involved, as is with all your writing, and yet you have such mastery over intensity which swells and almost brims to overflowing…but does not quite. It lingers with you in deep pools of swirling feelings. Such sadness. But regardless, Susie, you are not nor ever could be a “wall flower”. Every blossom has a time to abide in the shade a while, but you absolutely glow. In different ways, different places perhaps there is shade…but nonetheless, you glow with a vivid interior beautiful flame. No, no wall flower are you

kenju said...

Very nice!!

"Where was the graceful dancer?" I've been looking for one to partner me for decades!

Lori said...

Absolutely beautiful! Your feelings are so honest and raw. Refreshing!

Christina said...

This touches, my heart. What a gorgeous and heartbreaking dance.
So lovely.

Susie Hemingway said...

Elizabeth, thank you for your extremely kind comment.

Susie Hemingway said...

@ Karen: Thank you so much for your continuing support always wonderfully generous comments.

@ Kenju: Thank you for taking time to comment - My wonderfully graceful dancer can no longer dance,but I was lucky to find him, MM has taken that joy but, if you care to read poem " We Dance Again" Feb 2008

@ Lori Many thanks for your kind comments and for taking the time from your busy day to leave them here.

@ Christina - Bless you for your very generous comments and I am thrilled that it stirred your heart so.

Kate said...

What a lovely poem Susie – this one really touched a deep chord. My Kamal was an absolutely wonderful dancer and some of my happiest memories of our life reach back to fabulous evenings dancing together. Thank you again for sharing xxx

Jenny - Sister. said...

Lovely, lovely, poignant and nostalgic. All in this one poem. I could see how you wished your man could be there with you, as did we all. X

Sunshine said...

Your poetry: Sweet as always.

Hilary said...

You certainly have the gift of words. Very lovely.

Thank you for your visit to my blog. I'm reading back on yours a bit, and I'm so sorry to learn that life has dealt you such a tough blow. It's not easy to handle heartache with grace and beauty, and yet you do. Best thoughts to you and your Hamada

Noelle said...

Susie, Your words touch my heart. This is a wonderful page - your writing is absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for your kind comments on my poetry.

Hugs to you new friend!

Shadow said...

i've scrolled through your site here. your writing is outstanding. must be because it comes from the heart...

A Cuban In London said...

As an Afro-Cuban dance and salsa teacher, I commend for this gem of a poem. And Patrick would have loved it, too. Many thanks for your kind comments on my blog. I loved this poem totally, so much passion and energy in it. Not strange, though, coming from a fellow Scorpio ;-).

Greetings from London.

Dave King said...

I thought I'd left a comment, but must have done something wrong. I found this post very touching, beautifully done and at the same time quite positive in spirit. Lovely, in fact.

Sarah Laurence said...

You capture the dance of love so beautifully. Best of luck with your husband’s treatment. Your support and poetry is good medicine I’m sure.

Zee said...

Wow..amazing. You got a unique style in your poem writing..very full of feelings..truthful...I love it. I am following you!

Susie Hemingway said...

Thank you Dear Kate, How you must miss Dear Kamal, and his wondeful dancing, and such charms of these amazing men. It's something I truly miss, something we enjoyed so very much.

@Jenny. Thanks for your understanding dear Sister and friend.

Thank you once again, hope you are good now and that your loved one is doing well on his difficult journey.

@Hilary, Noelle, and Shadow. Thank you all so much for your most generous comments. Coming from a trio of such wonderful writers I am very thrilled to have your kind remarks.

Susie Hemingway said...

Thank you so much 'A Cuban in London' for you would certainly understand the passion of the salsa and what I was trying to portray in my poem "I Missed You". I wonder do all Scorpios love to dance?

@Dave , Thank you so much for your very kind comments. From such a fine writer, I am delighted that my poems have some appeal for you.

Thank you for your most generous comments and for taking the time to enter them here,

@Zee I am so glad you liked my style of writing and that you gleaned some enjoyment from my poems, how nice you will be returning once again.

Margie said...

Oh, this is just so lovely!
It touched my heart so much!

Thank you, Susie!


Shadow said...

sad it is, and what a tribute to patrick swazey... i loved this line "I was never a wallflower but she has found me now"

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