~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

14 October, 2010

The Peaceful Feeling Decisions Bring.

After a worrisome week and Hamada's well considered decision not to continue with more treatments certainly for the time being, which would now involve dialysis - see http://www.susiehemingway.com/ we are both feeling relieved and peaceful that this huge decision is over. We had what we believe was the final Haematology consultation today, unless a miracle occurs and we have had a few of those before. So with the Doctor and lovely Nurse Tracy present, we discussed all that was needed. It was a bittersweet consultation after all these years and with the last results from the second round of Revlimid, the Paraprotein reading continues to show a reduction, this time -4 bringing Hamada's count to 12 from the recent 21.7 It is a disappointment beyond compare that the failing kidneys which were the first reason to suspect MM in the first place, may well be the ending point also. Because of the suddenness of this lowering of kidney function, it is hard for me not to relate it to the Revlimid + Aspirin but I know of Revlimids great success worldwide and for some without kidney problems the lowering of the PP in just two courses really shows that this is a drug of success for many and may well have continued to reduce the Myeloma load for Hamada. One point to consider is that we all know that MM leeches calcium from the bones and this alone after all this time could indeed be the single reason Hamada's kidneys are failing again.

Still time will tell but I stand by my lay-woman's judgement, that it was the Revlimid and Aspirin that has compounded the damage. Further creatinine levels may in fact show this, as it clears from the body?
It is hard to take in the severity of how ill Hamada is, when I look at him there is no outward sign that has suddenly appeared! A tiny puffiness around his eyes but no swelling of the ankles, just a continuous need for sleep and a very tiny amount of energy. He is still eating reasonably well and always his cheerful self, dignified and eager to retain control of this beastly illness. As he has managed before with a very low kidney function eGFR (7) at one point and survived for these past four and a half years with a eGFR never being more than 17 at the highest point. Is it then not crazy for me to expect more months? I am aware of course that should the kidney function nosedive once more, then it would be a very short time indeed. Although we have finished all clinics now unless there is a dramatic change, Hamada's blood will still be monitored of course, with the first visit by the out-care renal team. A nurse will be coming here on the 25th of this month. I am now waiting for the last creatinine reading. Maybe I am 'clutching at straws' but this will in the very least, be most interesting! Keep well all.
Photo: Showing Hamada with his Angels - story on http://www.susiehemingway.com/


A Myeloma Widow's Journey said...

Oh my dear friend ... I have thought of you continuously as you faced these decisions. You know that I really do understand, but that surely doesn't do a thing to help you.

Kidneys can rebound surprisingly - and I do believe in miracles - so prayers for that continue. The fact that Hamada is still eating well is very important, I think. Vern had stopped eating much of anything at all when we faced this decision.

I will continue to hold you close to my heart and I'm here if you should ever need me. Much love ♥

Roobeedoo said...

Wishing you both well.

Susie Hemingway said...

Thank you Dear Dianne for taking time during your own mourning to place a comment here.Your new blog is such a valuable place to visit, full of very good advice for those newly bereaved. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through and I continue with all positive thoughts and prayers for your wellbeing.

Susie Hemingway said...

@Roobeedoo. - Thanks x

Jinksy said...

May many more angels than the two in the photo, be at your side! My curiousity makes me want to know, are they made from crochet cotton? Thay look too light to be pottery...

Susie Hemingway said...

Hi Jinksy x Yes they are very fine crochet and there are more photos of these two lovely Angels on my http://www.susiehemingway.com site.
The young lady that made these beautiful Angels carrying the little crystal pieces, is very talented with many skills including sewing knitting and crocheting - she also suffers from MM like Hamada. Please see the link to her web-blog. I hope you are well x

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