~ Poems of Love ~

The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.

22 November, 2010

Night Vigil

Hamada has spoken very little during the last two days. managing only to smile and greet the family who have all been here at "Hemingway" this weekend. I know by his smiles that he has enjoyed so much, seeing them all, during this bittersweet weekend.

Jo gave his father a wonderful shave something that I was not managing to do very well! It was a wonderful time of family closeness. I received some of the best much needed hugs, which have given me more courage to continue after this long worrying week.

After everyone had left I managed to get Hamada to his favourite chair in the sitting room during the early evening, thus giving me time to put fresh linens on his bed. He was not speaking at all during this time not eating anything, just dozing on and off. During the middle of the evening he became more agitated and seemed a little distressed so I helped him back to the safety of his bed.

As I settled him down for the night he spoke, his voice clear for the first time in two days. He was tearful and told me that he was very tired now but needed to say something, struggling to find the words he said that he did not think he could continue any further, almost as if he was asking for permission to go. I let him know gently that it was now time for him to rest and for him not to be concerned about anything but sleeping now. He spoke about his love for me and his worries of leaving me and I reassured him that I would be fine, his beautiful words brought a few gentle tears to us both. I laid my face close to his as he settled into a very calm deep sleep and so a time of loving observation and a night vigil for me began. It is now 6am and Hamada is still sleeping, his breathing just a gentle rhythm in the quietness of the house and as I go for my shower I wonder what this new day will bring and is it time now?

1 comment:

Margaret said...

Oh Susie, words cannot convey my emotions right now, but I did want to let you know that I am thinking of you and Hamada and sending you both hugs...un abbraccio fortissimo da Firenze...

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