~ Poems of Love ~
The following poems have been written by me, for my husband Hamada, who suffered from Multiple Myeloma [IgG Kappa] a cancer of the plasma cells, which are found in the bone marrow. After many months of chemotherapy, contracting pneumonia twice, once given only twelve hours to live and having three bad fractures to his spine and also showing in his Pelvis, he made it to four years seven months. The Multiple Myeloma attacked his Kidneys first showing at diagnosis in May 2006 leaving Hamada only a small percentage of kidney function. He never complained, using his most amazing smile even when I knew he had severe pain. Hamada underwent a Stem Cell Transplant using his own 'harvested stem cells' . During October 2007 he spent seventeen days in the "Centre For Clinical Haematology" at Nottingham City Hospital UK. where he achieved this transplant. We had a scare at six months after transplant, when told 'the beast was back' but subsequent tests showed a partial remission. Again in early 2009 it was confirmed that Hamada was out of remission He fought again during 2010 with newer chemo type drugs. First with Velcade and then with Revlimid but to no avail. His Kidneys were failing further and Hamada chose not to have dialysis. This blog contains poems and updates, written for Hamada, telling of our life together.
Now a beautiful book has been published, see
http://www.susiehemingway.com/books/
showing Hamada's personal fight against Multiple Myeloma in the first fifty 'poems of love' written by me his wife. I hope you like these poems of love and also 'our story' dedicated to Hamada, who passed away peacefully at home on 23 November 2010 after a most courageous fight against Multiple Myeloma.
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60 comments:
I am so sorry to hear of Hamada's passing. I wish I had your skill with words and your dignity in the face of such adversity. x x x
So very very sad.
I'm thinking our two wonderful men have finally had the opportunity to meet one another ... in their new, healthy bodies. God bless you, Susie.
Lots of love mum, so well put... Xxxxx
I am so sorry to hear this very sad news Susie. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. R.I.P. dear Hamada...God bless!!
Judy L xoxo
May the love and comfort that surrounds you bring you peace.
Susie,
Hamada is now safely in a place of peace, with no more pain or suffering.
My heart goes out to you and your family, and I will be keeping you all in my prayers. God bless.
Thinking of you and sending you a big big hug...
Our heart cries for you, honey. We're so sorry for your great loss-
..so sorry
I wish patience to all family. Now he's more peaceful with God.
God bless!
I left a longer comment on Facebook, Susie. But what more can be said after the perfection of your eloquent words on your blog but a most heartfelt and fervent "Amen." May rest and peace and light eternal surround Hamada in his new dwelling place where there is no pain, no sorrow and no tears. Much much love to you, dear Susie. xxx Karen
No more pain and sorrow for H. For yourself the loss of your beloved will brings a different kind of pain and sorrow. May God grant you peace and your family bring you comfort. You have had a most beautiful life and love with H. Be strong and stay courageous, may you continue to bless others with your gift of words.
Susie.. I can barely types these words as the tears are streaming.. I only wish my arms could reach across the ocean to give you a hug.. the love you and Hamada had will live forever.. as will your sweet poems that expressed such a lovely life together..
The news I never wanted to hear. Why must this happen to the best people? And he was certainly very brave indeed as well as you, Susie. My prayers continue for you and your very lovely family - Peace be with you all. With Love, Lora
Oh Susie, I'm saddened by this expected news. Somehow I kept hoping, when intellectually it didn't make sense for me to do so.
I thank you so profoundly for letting us all in to share this very difficult journey with you. Somehow you always seem to make it so special. I am in awe of you and your family and Hamada's courage,dignity and grace.
Love,
Lori
I'm so sorry, Susie.
Reading about Hamada's death, again, has me reflecting on the finite nature of our existence here on earth. That said, he is now in the Kingdom of Peace. He's not suffering anymore. And as hard as this is now, remember always that his love for you will never, ever die.
Martha and I both have you and your family in our thoughts and our prayers.
Susie;
My deepest sympathy for your loss.
As someone with MM, I appreciate the enduring love you shared throughout Hamada's ordeal. Your strength uplifts us all.
John
How hard these days have been for you... and yet you have gracefully kept us informed and we share your grief at the departure of your beloved Hamada. My very deepest sympathies to you and all your family and friends who have to say goodbye to this remarkable man.
My thoughts will be with you all during these next few weeks, but especially for you, Susie, as you find your way in your new world... XXX
"In the most difficult circumstances of life, there is often only one source of peace. The Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, extends His grace with the invitation, 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest' (Matthew 11:28)."
Donald L. Hallstrom, "Turn to the Lord," Ensign, May 2010, 78
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved husband. Even knowing that it was coming does not make this time any easier, however I hope that knowing that he is at rest and free of pain helps ease your pain.
May your burdens be lightened and peace and comfort come quickly to you and your family.
Love, Kristine
Though we have not yet met face-to-face, your beautiful words, your dignity and courage have touched me deeply. Susie, you have shown many of us in the MM world-wide community, the meaning of true love and tender care. We are saddened with Hamada's passing. God's Peace to Hamada, to you and to your family and friends. We will keep in touch.
As someone who is struggling to come to terms with Myeloma and mortality myself, I have followed your post and drawn inspiration from Hamada's quiet courage and dignity. I wish you all the best as you face a new chapter of your life.
Gino
Susie,
So sorry to hear your news. Words don't seem enough at times like these. I am sending my love thoughts and prayers to you. xxx
All the family is greiving for Uncle Hamada...lots of love sent to him through our prayers. You are a brave woman auntie Susie! Esra "niece"
Dear Hamada, Heliopolis will never forget your laugh when we used to walk on empty streets at early mornings,the all group will miss you and may God rest your soul.
Susie, My deepest condolonces for the great loss of the great man.
Susie -
Words cannot express how sad I am to hear this news. I wish I could comfort you somehow. You continue to inspire as you face one horror after another with this disease, taking all of this one with incredible grace, dignity and obvious love for Hamada.
He is finally free from this awful disease...I hope that provides you some modicum of light amid the dark.
God bless you, my friend.
Nick
Taken from some of the facebook condolence:
Matt Rutherford Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
Stuart Frisby Lots of love - a truly amazing man and an inspiration to many around him. Rest peacefully Haji.. Xxxxx
Elaine Griffing Pate The ultimate healing. Even so, it must ache. I'm so deeply sorry.
Karen Barker Crowley So sorry to hear the news.
Cynthia Palmieri Chmielewski Sending warm hugs and healing prayers. You are a dedicated and loving caregiver-Hamada was lucky to have you! Hamada is now free from pain and at peace.
Judi Smith We prayed last night that Hamada would quietly walk into the light surrounded with love. Our love stretches out to you and the family.
God bless. Alan, Jude, & Beryl. x
Keith Trotter Susie, i am so sorry to hear your news. my thoughts and prayers are with you.lots of love
xxx
Craig Stinson I'm so sorry,
Susie.
Daniela Khan I'm so sorry - lots of love from all of us xx
Sarah Byrne So sorry to hear your news Susie. Thinking of you. xxx
Janice Carls Bertsche Susie you have my deepest sympathy. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.
Alison Fairchild We are all grateful he did not have to suffer any longer.
Audrey Blincow We are so sorry to hear this news but to learn it was peaceful and that he is at rest is a blessing. Our thoughts are with you at this time. Your endless support, care and love have been and will be an inspiration to others. Love to you and your family, Audrey and Chas et al! x
Sian Williams Susie, I am so very sorry to read this, but glad that Hamada's passing was indeed peaceful. Love and prayers from us all......
Phaedra Bryant Oh Susie, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Our deepest sympathy to you all. With love, Charlie, Phae & Harry x
Jenny Robson Our brave warrior is now at rest x
Sean Murray Our hearts are heavy at learning of the passing of your beloved. Peace to Hamada, to you Susie, and to all whom love you both.
Keith Colburn Susie I am so sorry to hear your news my heartfelt sympathies to you all x
Margaret Graziano Oh Susie...a big hug...
Kevin Hodgson We're so sorry to hear that, our thoughts are with you all. Love Pati & Kevin
Zena Jean Giessen Ma Salama to our ole budddy, we sure had some great times together & it will always be with us,Rest in peace Hamada
Susie sweetie thinking of you and our deepest sympathy, much love xxxxx
Karen Westhaver Dearest Susie, I hope you physically feel the "virtual" hugs and soothings of all of us who love you yet are physically located in other places. Deep peace I pray for you. You know that physically though Hamada may no longer be with you, hi...s spirit, his joy, his essence, and most especially his love will ALWAYS be a part of you. It is woven into the very fibers of your being. These can never be separated from who you are. Such courage, such love, such a battle. I'm glad Hamada got to see and be a part of the things he might not have, had he passed earlier. I'm grateful for the time you had with him while he was "here". Sending you prayers and much, much love mingled with our sorrow for this loss from the physical world. xxxx Karen and John
Oh Susie,
I am so very sad to hear of Hamada's
passing. What a beautiful and wonderful man heaven got this week,
but it is certainly our loss. The love and dignity you both shared with us through your blog is awe-inspiring. Wishing God's blessings on you and your family. We will surely miss Hamada's wonderful smile. Hugs to you from Jersey.
Denise
Your handsome and brave man has only walked ahead of you, one day you will reunite, tis not good-bye.. gain strength from knowing you will be together again one day. May god speed his soul. xxx
Dearest Susan,
I was deeply saddened by the sad news of Hamada's passing. He was a lovely man and so full of laughter and devilment when the "Mafia" got together. Unfortunately, it was not many times for me because of my situation, but I never stopped thinking about him and his momentous fight and received frequent updates of his situation from Claire. Of course, without your tender loving and never ending care I feel sure that the Doctor's views would have become a reality much much sooner. I am so proud of the way you have dedicated some 4 years of your life to the love of your life. You know how much I enjoyed your book, and I know it is of little comfort, but love in that elevator must be a fond memory of yours. Right now I am fighting back the tears as I think of you and Hamada. Please accept my deepest sympathy on what must be the worst days of your life, I feel very sad. I shall be thinking of you and I know if Hamada was with us he would have wished to say to you the following well known poem, which is one of my favourites:
The Life That I Have
The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours
The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.
A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours and yours.
God bless you Susan you are indeed a remarkable woman. Take care and lots of love,
Chris
Susie I am so sorry I have followed yours and Hamada's journey I bought your book of poems for my husband whi is fighting cancer it gave him great pleasure you are truly a remarkable women and hamada looked a truly lovely person.
Big hug for you xxx
Sandrine Rutherford.
I was telling Manu that Grandpa will always be with him in so many ways and we quietly curled up and read this poem together remembering what a special grandpa he was. I know poetry means so much to you so it was a lovely way for me and Manu to think of Hamada. I hope you don't mind me sending it to you. All our love to you Susie.xxxx
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave ands cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Hi Susie, I have been thinking alot about you, hoping you are ok. I know you have your sons and family and friends to help you during this sad time but I still worry. I wish I could have met Hamada. He had to have been such an incredible man to have inspired the beautiful poetry you have written. I know your poetry was also inspired by the great love you had for him. I can hear it and feel it when I read your book. He was a very blessed man and I am sure he knew that. When talking with Lora yesterday we both wished we had the money to go to England for the service. You have been such a huge encouragement to Lora in her battle. For me you have been an encouragement in staying strong and positive for a loved one in their battle. I wish I could write like you so I could tell you in a beautiful way how much I appreciate what you have and are doing for people with MM, but I don't know how to do that. I am just plain and simple so I hope you know by now that you are a very special and loved friend. I know that Hamada is at peace and perfect with our God. My condolences to you and your family. You have become a special and loved friend. Peace be with all of you
Just a poem I found a while back.
I wish heaven had a phone,so I could hear your voice again,
I thought of you today but that is nothing new,
Ithought about you yesterday,and days before that too.
I think of you in silence,I often speak your name.
All I have are memories,and a picture in a frame.
Your memory is a keepsake,from which Ill never part.
God has you in his arms...Iv got you in my heart.My thoughts and prayers are with you daily Susie,take care,love Karen xxx
Susie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
I hope that your friends and family help you get through this difficult time.
With warm thoughts,
Hillary, in icy New Hampshire
So sorry to hear this sad news. Hamada was blessed to have such a wonderful caregiver with him as he fought his brave battle. May God be with you.
Thank for sharing this inspirational journey with us. I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you, his family and friends.
Roslyn
dx MM 01/08/2008
Dear Susie,
It is with deep sadness that I am writing to you in this difficult time. My brother Hamada will always be remembered fondly as a kind and loving man. He will be greatly missed. May God bless him and give us all the patience to go on.
Thank you for for everything you have done for Hamada and for being such a ...loving a caring wife to him.
Your sister
Faten
I have followed your and Hamada's journey on your blog, and am so very sad to hear this news. I pray you will continue to feel his loving spirit with you, and that you'll find strength to get through the next weeks and months. Please keep us posted as to how you are doing.
Susie:
I have been touched by your writing for many months now. I have silently followed your travels with our sly beast. I do not know what to say. I take heart in the old expression ... "God give me the strength to change the things I can. The courage to accept the things that I cannot. And the wisdom to know the difference"
Know that my heart is heavy for your loss. No, I mean for OUR loss.
hanna o
One night, as I sat at my desk in a little office in a little fire station in a little city in the US, I opened my little window to the world known as the Internet, and moved the little mouse over something called Verve Earth, and randomly zig zagged across the map of the world, wondering where I might stop. When I was a kid I used to go to the globe, which for those who never saw one is a three dimensional orb which replicates Planet Earth, mounted on a holder of sorts that allows the earth to spin. I’d give it a good push, and lightly place my finger on the surface as it spun, and wherever it stopped, that is where I decided I would go.
This night, I stopped in England, “in a beautiful village nestling by the river Bain in the heart of the Lincolnshire Woods.” There, I was introduced to Susie and Hamada, a happily married couple, living gracefully through the curse of Multiple Myeloma. Through Susies poems I was allowed entry into the most astonishing love story ever written. The simple complexity of her words, full of pain but able to articulate enduring hope travelled an ocean, and opened a part of my heart that had been closed since 1990, when my father battled cancer and lost.
Hamada died this week. The profound sadness I felt when I heard the news, through Facebook of all places, literally crippled me. I never spoke to Hamada, nor heard him speak. I only knew him through the words his wife used to describe their life together, and his courage and dignity during his last few years. Yet I knew him. And I’m a better person because of it. I imagine Hamada will be laid to rest sometime today, “in a beautiful village nestling by the river Bain in the heart of the Lincolnshire Woods.” I imagine his friends and family will join the solemn occasion, and pay their respects, and mourn his loss.
But here in my little place, back in my little office, watching the world through my little window the sadness I felt has been replaced, and in its place something greater and timeless resides, and I have Susie and Hamada to thank, for without them, I would not have experienced The Power Within.
Thank you, Susie, and Rest in Peace, Hamada.
A beautiful woman who has become someone I care so deeply for, though we have never met. I met her through my Multiple Myeloma journey as Dave’s caregiver online. Her husband, Hamada, lost his battle with Myeloma today and I’m saddened by this news, though it was coming, we all knew, even Susie, but we just didn’t want it to be true.
Susie hosted a couple of blogs and published a book of her poems on this journey called A Power Within. All proceeds go toward MM research.
This is the part I hate the most. Making such incredible and lovely friends because of Multiple Myeloma and losing them as we walk this path.
Susie and Hamada have a grace and dignity that shines in this world – put on your sunglasses Heaven, because you have a very special, bright, being joining you
Multiple Myeloma Takes Another One.
The news from Susie that her beloved husband Hamada had passed away on November 23 from the consequences of Multiple Myeloma was no real surprise after her continuous updates of his failing kidneys, but it was still very sad news for those who have come to know her and the love of her life through her blog and her poetry.
It is also a horrible reminder that without aggressive and skilled medical intervention, this disease will show no mercy and will steal life long before that life should have ended. There was a notice on one of the MM sites that some people in the UK are putting forth an extra effort to educate the medical community about the symptoms of Multiple Myeloma since it is often mis-diagnosed, losing valuable time for the disease to gain a stronger position.
This is something that should be happening world-wide since it appears that more and more individuals are facing this fight and at younger years. I know I will continue to do what I can to educate those I meet about it, encouraging people to be more proactive in their discussions with their doctors and more than that, pushing them to eat healthier, more natural foods. I have also tried to get the message to President Obama that the government Veteran's Administration has not demonstrated compassionate care for our vets and in the U.S. there is a huge population of veterans suffering from MM.
This is no consolation for the wife of a man who loved her and who was well loved in return - nor will it bring him back. But perhaps those who are about to be diagnosed with MM or those who have recently been discovered to have it will take time to read the various blogs and make some educated decisions about their treatment so they can have a better chance at the remission that is sought after.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thinking of you. Thank you for sharing your life with us. It's always a great strength to people like me with Myeloma to see other as strong as you. I'm sure Hamada will be proud of you.
Dear Susie, Thinking of you at this time. We all loved Hamada the gentleman, the husband, the father, the friend and we know he will be missed. You have been such a tower of strength to him through this illness and I hope you have people being a strength for you in your time of need. Our love to Jo at this time as well of course. Lots of love. xxxx
Joan Mcguire I am really sorry to hear about your sad loss we all send our love and big hugs to you at this very sad time, you have been a tower of strength supporting your husband throughout and he has passed away knowing you was there at all times for him, he loved you and the bond will never leave you, Jason David and Kelly send you love and Hugs, if i can be of any help, do not hesitate to contact me. Love to you and your family at this very sad time. love Joan xxx
My heartfelt sympathies going out to you and your family.
Susie, I have been unemployed since Oct. 2nd and have no computer at home. Try to get to the library once a week to check for messages. So sorry to hear Hamada has lost his valiant battle. I know you will continue the fight on his behalf. Many hugs, God Bless, Minna
Raad Al Bahrani30 November 2010 at 03:53
Re: Hamada
Our sincere condolences Susie. We're glad he departed with little pain.
Love to you all.
Nina & Raad
Dear Susie
we are so sorry our thoughts and prays go with you and your family. I am sitting hear and going over the lovely time we had together the one thing that sticks to my mind is hamada's smile it was so charming god bless u susie I will makr 6th of Dec in my diary so I can send a special pray for his soul and for u love and kisses nargis
I'm so very, very sorry to hear this news. I have been following your blog since last November. My prayers go out to you and your family. - Bob in NYC.
Susie, I am so sad to hear of Hamada's passing. We are so sorry for this great loss. Please know you are in our hearts and prayers. Lots of peace and love to your family from ours.
Susie, I have been the keeper of the flame for my darling Daniel has battled multiple myeloma for almost 6 years. We have had three transplants and have never had remisssion. I happened on your blog a year ago while sitting in Dan’s hospital room and have been a reader ever since. Tonight when I learned of Hamadas passing I could barely contain my grief, for you, your beautiful family, your friends and I suppose for myself as well. I often wonder if today will be the day and the reality of your news made me wish I could embrace you and tell you that someone in Denver knows what a courageous battle was waged. Please know that you are a sister in spirit. Yours in great sympathy, Susan Patterson
..
There has been suffering and a great loss. I am so sorry for that. Yet what I'll remember most is your beautiful love story.
We are so sorry.
May comfort and peace and courage continue to be with you.
May God bless you both
Dear Susie,I am so very sorry to learn of Hamada's passing.I thought I had your phone number as I wanted to call you.I cannot begin to tell you how sad and sorry I am that he has gone.It has always been such a joy to see you two together,a more deeply devoted and in love couple one could not wish to meet.To me,Hamada was an instantly likeable man whom you just instinctively knew was kind,gentle and caring.No words of mine will ease your grief Susie but please know that I am always available should you think that I may be able to help you in any way,shape or form.I am so very sorry Susie,God bless you Hamada.Reaching out to you all with much love xx
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
In honor of great inspiration.
From Cassie: Hamada passed from this life last week after his journey with myeloma. You can read about this wonderful man and his incredible wife, Susie, at her blog here. Susie's published book of poems can be found here.
Susie, our hearts ache for your loss and you remain in our thoughts and prayers.
From Phil: I finally braved reading your recent blog post and was brought to tears. The picture you posted (see above) was nothing short of beautiful. It brought up so many emotions in me given I am still in the trenches to live for the day and not worry about tomorrow. Thanks for being an open book...or better yet, an open poem.
Much love coming from Ann Arbor, MI today
I am so sorry to hear the sad news about Hamada. He was a lovely man, so thoughtful, kind and caring and he will be greatly missed. It must be very difficult for you and your family at the moment, but our thoughts are with you
Will be thinking of you and will be in touch when I get back from Cornwall.
Love
Carolyn
God bless you - you wonderful woman. Rest in peace Hamada, rest in peace.
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